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Are you thinking of marrying a foreign woman? Here are things to consider before you decide.The internet has paved the way for people to meet even if they are from different parts of the world. Through international dating, single men can sign up for free foreign dating sites and find someone whom they would decide to marry. But marriage is not easy as it seems, especially when you are marrying a foreign woman you have spent your dates with online.
Online dating is one thing. Marriage is another. Are you truly ready for it? Here are the things you need to consider before marrying a foreign woman:
Anywhere is good as long as you are together—this must be what you are thinking about right now when you find love online. But oftentimes, it does not work out just like that. You have to decide where to settle down. Will it be in her hometown? Will it be in yours? Will it be in another place where you can start life together far away from your families?
This is a decision you both need to make. Here are the factors you need to discuss:
Language
If you choose to leave your country and stay at hers, you have to ask yourself, “Can I speak the language?” It is not necessary to study and you are not expected to speak fluently the first time. But someday you need to be independent in communicating to people and be free from your wife’s assistance.
Work
Before you pick a place to live, think about your jobs. You have to check first if there are careers available for both of you in that place. If yes, check how long would it be for someone to become eligible for a job in that place. You would not want to lose your financial independence.
Obtaining visa
The process of obtaining a visa is not easy and not cheap. Let alone the time it takes for someone to have it. Discuss this with your wife. You both have to understand that it will be difficult in the beginning.
Leaving family and friends
Moving to another place means leaving people behind. This will not be easy for your family or your wife’s. Indeed, marriage is a huge step, not only for you but for your family and friends too. That is why you have to plan things carefully.
Preparing for a wedding is not a one-man job. You two should consult each other about every detail of the wedding. For some, it usually takes months and even years to plan. These are some of the important things to look into:
Location
Where you want to get married is important. It is where you will seal each others’ vows, and it will be the landmark of your marriage. Will it be in a church? Will it be in a garden or at a beach? If getting married in a church is important for your future wife and you want something unusual, like getting married while riding a hot air balloon, choose what would both make your dreams come true. You can decide on riding a hot air balloon after the church wedding or have two ceremonies!
Family’s approval
The different cultural backgrounds of families may affect your wedding plans. However, this should not stop you from getting hitched. Complications may arise, but there will be ways to handle this. As long as you two accept each other, your families will respect that and accept your relationship eventually.
Traditions to follow
Being born from different countries, you two normally follow different traditions. If your ethnic identity is strong, you might find it hard to adjust. Although, arguing over which tradition should be followed is not necessary. You can follow both. Instill them to your children. Share both of your lives to them. After all, you are making a new life together.
This may not always be discussed by most couples before their wedding day, but once you get married, sooner you will have this talk. Raising children is another step. You should prepare yourselves and know the things you should agree on:
Education
Choosing a good school for your child takes time. You have to do your research. If they are born in another country and you decide to have them educated in another, that is fine. Just as long as you and your wife are on the same page. But it is also important to make the child’s education stable. So you both have to make sure you will be living at the same place where your children will be educated so that he/she does not have to transfer from one school to another.
Religion
Many interracial couples find this an issue, especially if they have strong and different religious views. Some couples, however, let their children decide on what to believe in, as long as it does not harm them. If you have different views from each other, talk about this matter and find a way that would work for everyone.
Grandparents
If your wife is from a close-knit family, visiting her parents will be customary. There will be complications when you are living away from them. If you have children, the grandparents will want them to visit, especially Asian families. When this time comes, you have to plan on visiting them during the holidays and special occasions. Or you can have them over and let them stay with you for a while.
There are inevitable happenings in life, especially in interracial marriage. Yes, you can find your perfect match, but some things do not go your way. But there is no winning and losing; only ways to make the marriage work:
Compromise
This is what all marriage is about. It is normal to disagree on some things, but you should not give up, especially the things that matter to you and those you love.
Things in common
You might have found your perfect match because you found someone with the same hobbies or interests. That is good. But when you decide to marry someone, make sure not only your hobbies match. You should both go deeper and see if your values, life goals, or ethics are the same. Problems will always be there, but if you have these similarities, you can both easily find a way to settle things.
Understand each other's perspective
You may have different ideas, and that is okay. You do not need to agree, but you need to listen to each other. See each other’s point of view. In this way, you will understand that integrating traditions and beliefs is important, no matter how small.
Love and respect
Above all else, love and respect each other. No matter what.
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