Decoding the Three Types of Parasocial Relationships

Have you spent a paycheck on someone you only know online? Did you crash out when they didn’t meet your expectations? Did you go on a tirade against someone who criticized them? Are you a little delusional about your relationship status?

If so, you may have been or are still in one or several parasocial relationships.

Just as it’s normal for children to have imaginary friends, it’s natural to admire someone, whether they’re a public figure, an online match, or an acquaintance.

But the concern here is the amount of control you have over your feelings. Some are level-headed, while others are too deep in their parasocial relationship and act in ways that can harm themselves.

How about you? What’s your level of affection for the people you admire?

Let’s get to know the three parasocial relationship types. Each one varies in intensity and impact. Despite their differences, they all stem from the human need to connect with others.

Let’s Define Parasocial Relationships

These refer to one-sided attachments. Usually, it’s with fictional or public figures, but it can extend to real people, too. One party exerts all their energy and time while the other doesn’t return the favor since they’re often unaware of the former’s existence.

Social media has amplified such relationships. Accessibility and opportunities for engagement can create a sense of closeness, blurring boundaries and making spaces feel smaller than usual.

Why Do We Fall Into Parasociality?

There are two reasons:

Human as we are, we desire connection and consider it essential to survival. Arthur C. Brooks, a social scientist and professor, particularly emphasized the latter in a talk with Harvard Health Publishing.

“Humans have evolved to thrive in groups, probably because 250,000 years ago, you needed to rely on other people to survive by building social relationships.”

But what happens when we don’t belong to any social group?

Clinical psychologist, author, and relationship coach Morgan Anderson explains to Women’s Health that without any connection, our brains may seek creative ways to make it happen.

This logic may explain why people who feel isolated or disconnected from others are more susceptible to forming parasocial relationships. Since many like sharing a lot of their lives online, people can’t help but feel there’s intimacy brewing, giving them some sense of fulfillment.

Let us give you a concrete picture. Do you remember Craigslist? Before its demise, many men used to search for matches among Craigslist’s single ladies.

Some of them were quick to fall head over heels. They fantasized about intimate moments with their matches based on their simple interactions or even lack of it. In reality, the latter didn’t even meet them halfway and only considered them an addition to the numbers.

Brooks suggests that another reason is frequent exposure.

Social media, for example, gives us a view of people’s (real or fictional) everyday lives. Some examples are celebrity behind-the-scenes videos and an acquaintance’s snapshot of their weekend happenings.

The more time we spend viewing these, the more we learn about them. And the more knowledge we gain, the more likely an emotional connection will form—especially if they’re compelling people.

“They like country music. I do, too! I just know we’d be romantically compatible.”

The Three Types of Parasocial Relationship

Now that we’ve gotten the gist of these relationships, we can finally proceed to this article’s main topic. Let’s get into each parasocial relationship type and see how they work:

Entertainment-social parasocial relationship

Among the three types, this one may be the most prevalent and the lightest because of the sense of community it offers.

People in this type of parasocial relationship look to public figures as sources of fun. They often use them as subjects for casual conversations. You can see an example of this behavior in online fan forums and community discussions.

And with that, this type can facilitate real-life connections, with people interacting on- and offline. These bonds can alleviate loneliness, thanks to the sense of belonging.

Intense-personal parasocial relationship

An individual feels a strong emotional attachment to someone, sometimes skyrocketing to worship. It stems from their deep conviction that they have a connection with the person of their affection.

Going by its name, people who belong in this category often display intense behaviors. They frequently check their crushes’/idols’ social media profiles and may react strongly to those who mildly criticize them, showing no restraint.

Because of its nature, this type can hinder people from forming genuine relationships. Not only does one’s social life take a hit, but also their mental health.

Ironically, while many use parasociality to cope with their loneliness and depression, it only intensifies their issues. Their attachment is unhealthy and can’t provide the same fulfillment as real-life connections. Reality hits them hard, and distress eats them up as soon as they turn off their screens.

Borderline-pathological parasocial relationship

This last type is the least common but also the most dangerous.

People falling under this category go beyond admiration. What once was fascination turned into hyperfixation. This hyperfocus dictates their feelings, thoughts, and actions. When left unaddressed, it spirals into obsession and delusion. They shut off all their senses, like walking on a plank and willingly jumping offboard.

This disconnection from reality can lead to dangerous actions. People in this state are often uncontrollable because they’re so out of touch with the real world. Behaviors like stalking may happen if one doesn’t pull themselves together.

Come Back Down to Earth

Each type of parasocial relationship differs, but all have the potential to take a toxic turn. Fascination is one thing, but obsession is another.

Relationships shouldn’t make you hyperfixate. Your sense of reality and self-identity should remain intact even if you start catching feelings. Don’t let your self-worth be the cost of winning someone’s approval.

Moreover, parasociality can provide inspiration and comfort, but real-life connections are far more fulfilling.

Whether you’ve tried dating on Craigslist before its downturn or exploring dating sites like A New Wife, you shouldn’t let your romantic exploits take over your life. Learning about the different types of parasocial relationships should hopefully make you self-aware and guide you toward a better direction

References

Goodman, Heidi. 2024. “Do Parasocial Relationships Fill a Loneliness Gap?” Harvard Health Publishing.

https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/do-parasocial-relationships-fill-a-loneliness-gap-202409303074.